ADHD is ______

A short take on a pet peeve

Photo by Igor Omilaev on Unsplash

October is ADHD Awareness Month, an effort to educate the public and share reliable evidence-base information. It’s spearheaded by a coalition consisting of the ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO), the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), and Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD).

It’s a fair bet, though, that more Americans get information about ADHD from social media than from these expert-led organizations. And much of the information shared on Threads, Instagram, TikTok, Bluesky, X, and other platforms, even here at Substack, is at worst, erroneous, and, at best, misleading or confusing.

On any given day on any of these social media platforms, for example, you’ll see countless posts that begin “ADHD is” followed by a behavior the poster believes is not neurotypical. It might go like this: “ADHD is resisting going to bed and staying up until 2am and not being able to get up in the morning.”

Well, no, that’s not ADHD. It might be (okay, it is) how I experience ADHD, and maybe it describes you as well, but it’s not a defining characteristic. Common, yes. But if you stay up until 2 and can’t function in the morning, it doesn’t mean you have ADHD, and if you’re early to bed and early to rise, it doesn’t mean you’re neurotypical.

Or this: “ADHD is hating to talk on the phone.” Maybe. Not always. Lots of people hate to talk on the phone but it doesn’t mean they have ADHD.

Even the “defining characteristics” don’t define everyone’s ADHD. It’s not true that “ADHD is hyperactivity” or “ADHD is impulsivity.” It may be for some, but not for everyone.

So “ADHD is” in fact is shorthand for “My ADHD is,” and leaving off the “My” has significance.

Sure, it’s a nitpicky argument, but it gets at the heart of the myths and misconceptions about ADHD. It’s not a condition that easily can be generalized. And trying to do so, or doing so unwittingly, can contribute to misunderstandings. Scrolling through social media and looking at all the “ADHD is _____” posts, social media users can easily write off a suspicion that they might have the condition because their experience doesn’t line up with whatever they’re being told ADHD is and so fail to seek a diagnosis. Conversely, another may jump to the conclusion that they have ADHD if what they experience merely as a quirk or a habit lines up with what someone else experiences as a deeply distressing and incapacitating symptom.

“ADHD is ______” posts also provide fodder for the common misconception that “everyone’s a little ADHD.” “Everyone” may be a night owl, or distractible, or impulsive, or forget what they walked into a room for. But they may not have that which distinguishes a person with ADHD from one who does not have it—a physical difference in the brain. So everyone has quirks and habits that may seem weird or annoying, but everyone does not have a neurodevelopmental disorder. The issues they relate to in “ADHD is ______” posts may not be pervasive and debilitating, another aspect that separates those with and without ADHD.

Perhaps we make these all inclusive statements as an act of solidarity or a way of creating community—because we want to feel connected and have others say, “Oh yes, me too.” Or for them to recognize the struggles and say “I see you.” And that’s crucial for people with ADHD. Being in community, virtual or otherwise, with others who understand is key to crushing shame and stigma associated with the disorder, to recognizing that we’re not broken, just different. But we can have community, empathy, and understanding by recognizing and respecting our similarities and our differences, without making ADHD seem like a list of behaviors to compare and check off. Perhaps that’s why the theme of ADHD Awareness Month is The Many Faces of ADHD.

---

Need help developing your story? Guidance in crafting queries and proposals? Or strategies and workarounds for the challenges of writing with ADHD? Please get in touch!