19 Comments
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B.K. (Kate) Jackson's avatar

Thanks Elizabeth. I appreciate that!

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Eileen Vorbach Collins's avatar

I hope you'll write a fiction piece about that cousin's critique of your fiction piece. Just message me for help with the title. It should be full of special characters. Like these:*%#@&

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B.K. (Kate) Jackson's avatar

Oh yes, those are my favorite characters! Thanks Eileen!

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Sarah Leibov's avatar

Fascinating read- I had never hear of RSD, but I can see how artists who are sensitive enough to create art in the first place might be particularly sensitive to how it is perceived. Also, I bet I would have loved your story, and I hope you'll return to fiction one day.

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Margaret Lynch's avatar

Wonderful piece, Kate, and very educational for me. I've taken some time off from submissions (aka rejections) lately.

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B.K. (Kate) Jackson's avatar

Thanks Margaret. I get it. Sometimes our Submittable pages are enough to bring tears! But I always find it helps when sometimes people share those—writers you'd think never get rejected—and we see the reality. Hope you're back at it before long.

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Margaret Lynch's avatar

You too, Kate! Your writing is beautiful. Can't wait to see the fiction piece you write about your cousin's feedback :)

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B.K. (Kate) Jackson's avatar

Thank you! I hope I’ll be brave enough. 😁

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Heidi Fettig Parton's avatar

For me, it's a matter of volume. I teach in an MFA program, so my submissions tend to go out in clumps during the few down weeks between semesters. This way, the rejections also come in clumps. By the fourth rejection I've received in a three-week period, the rejection (sort of, kind of) slides off my back--but the first one in the heat is pure torture all over again. I wrote a post for Brevity's blog a few years ago about the elaborate routine I go through when dealing with the most painful rejections. It (kind of, sort of) helps.

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B.K. (Kate) Jackson's avatar

Thanks for that, Heidi. just went and found your Brevity Blog piece. It just might kinda sorta help others, so I hope you don’t mind if I share it here and in notes. https://brevity.wordpress.com/2023/05/31/a-writers-ritual-for-rejection/

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Heidi Fettig Parton's avatar

For sure! Thanks for sharing it, Kate! I used it for the first in a string of July rejections. (late April submissions = July rejections). I also ate a bowl full of raw broccoli (you know, a little teeth gnashing!).

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B.K. (Kate) Jackson's avatar

I’m impressed! I’d have gnashed my teeth through a big bag of Cheetos.

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Melinda Gottlieb's avatar

I had never heard of RSD before reading this. Thanks for enlightening me! I think it is very helpful for those without ADHD to understand what happens to those afflicted with it

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B.K. (Kate) Jackson's avatar

Thanks for reading and commenting, Melinda. I agree—it would be so much easier for people with ADHD if those around them understood. And important for those with ADHD to understand it's not their fault.

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B.K. (Kate) Jackson's avatar

Thanks for commenting. I'm glad you found it interesting. Short answer -- yes, it occurs in ASD. I'll send you a private message with some information.

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Marilyn Fenichel's avatar

Very interesting and comprehensive article. Much here for all of us to learn. I don’t deal with rejection well, but I’m trying to develop a thicker skin. Definitely not easy!

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B.K. (Kate) Jackson's avatar

Not easy at all. Thanks!

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Scottishteacher's avatar

Hi :-) I really enjoyed reading this and found it really interesting. I hope you don't mind me asking, but when were you diagnosed with ADHD? How did that come around?

Do you think the rejection sensitivity is specifically linked to ADHD? I have taught a lot of ASD leaners with varying degrees of autism and feel that much of what you have written could be related to them too-really interesting food for thought. Thanks for sharing.

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Elizabeth Lord's avatar

RSD sure is a beast! Your description of it being a vortex of shame and embarrassment is vivid and so true. Loved your actionable tips. Thanks for sharing this!

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